DNSN Week Debrief

So appreciative that T (Dad) was willing to keep up w/DNSN for days 5, 6 and 7 while I was out of town! And everyone survived!

As T mentioned, we are planning to have a family meeting tonight to talk about the week. In preparation for that I think it is important to summarize my observations. I don't plan to talk about all of these with the kids -- but this is more to help us plan our timeline for training. I am really interested to hear what the kids thought about the week.

General Observations of Daily Routines: What ain't broke, but needs noticing and appreciation!
1-5) The morning routine is tight! The kids get themselves up, dressed, make/eat breakfast, make lunch/snacks and get out to the bus on time
6) Both kids are committed to homework and make a point of getting it done at the agreed time - immediately after school
7) M is highly motivated to do his daily reading -- and will do so w/o prompting and read longer than normal
8) M did cat litter and garbage without reminding
9) Both kids to bed before 8:30 pm every night except Saturday
10) Loaded breakfast dishes directly into dish washer one day

What needs some improvement/introduction/training:
1) hair generally doesn't get brushed - problematic/painful after a few days
2) not sure teeth are getting brushed in the morning
3) not sure M uses his inhaler consistently
4) money for milk or pizza is not always remembered
5) kids learning to keep track of their own schedule and homework assignments - when longer term assignments are due
6) cleaning up dishes - getting them in dishwasher and putting away food items after eating - understanding/learning how to load dishwasher
7) learning how to make pancakes! both K & M are very excited about this!
8) unloading backpack, lunch bag and getting everything hung up and put away
9) dealing with papers - where they go, what to hang on to, what to recycle, what to file
10) consistently putting dirty laundry where it belongs
11) doing laundry - sorting, washing, drying, folding, putting away
12) getting toys away consistently
13) getting contributions done consistently w/out being reminded
14) K daily reading needs to be more consistent
15) wiping counter / table after eating or making lunch
16) cooking - microwaving reheats or making meals from scratch
17) left on their own, that generally do not take a bath/shower
18) left on their own, they do some mildly destructive things - shooting nurf darts in the family room, jumping on furniture
19) generally there is at least 15-20 minutes of talking before settling down once in bed
20) cats missed getting fed
21) getting lights turned out

What feelings I noticed:
-the kids have so many really good habits, particularly the morning routine
-I get crazy when the house is a pit, particularly the kitchen counter and kitchen table
-I am bothered by toys in the kitchen/eating area
-the kids only seem bothered by the mess if they don't have room for what they want to do next OR if it some how disrupts their relationship with me
-waste disturbs me - sour milk, etc.
-need a way to ask them to stop something / to do something that is respectful "would you be willing to...", but particularly with an urgent/necessary request like -- "please don't touch the wet paint"
-I pick up after the kids way more than I think I did - not anymore!
-I have a hard time watching hungry kitties
-very impressed with how serious M is about his homework - asking/reprimanding friends and asking adult strangers to be quiet so he can work
-Not proud of it, but I can be a passive aggressive - shaking the kitty dish, trying to get M to notice or being tempted to dump water all over their papers to get their attention
-I get frustrated/angry and then I threaten or I'm tempted to threaten  - I think I was fooling myself into believing that some of these threats were natural consequences - almost always they are not
-K's hen pecking me for attention is much reduced, but still happens, usually at the most stressful time for me or other members of the family
-no tv watching in the morning = on time for bus (or at least there seems to be a pattern)


Evolving Contributions
We are planning to expand / re-work how we do contributions. We really started the kids out w/just a few about 10 months ago and they are clearly ready for more. This morning when we came down they were unloading the dishwasher by themselves -- no prompting for us. This seems like a great contribution we can add to their list! The way we've done contributions in the past hasn't worked perfectly - we had the same ones assigned to the same child all the time and they weren't necessarily daily -- so there was a lot of forgetting or not noticing they needed to be done. Now we are going to embrace a method closer to what Vicki recommends. T and I will make a list of contributions that need to be done -- ideally at least 2 a day (one morning, one evening) for each family member. Each task should be no more than 10 min long -- and ideally no more than 5 min long. Each week at the family meeting we will each draw 2 out. Everyone will rotate and get more experience -- and everyone will have something to do every morning and night -- so no more forgetting.

Here are the likely candidates:

Morning:
-unload dishwasher - almost every day
-cat litter - 2x a week
-garbage collected in the house - 1x week
-garbage cans out to the curb - 1x week
-vacuum kitchen - 3x a week

Evening:-feeding/watering cats - 1x week
-clean cat hair off couches / chair - 1x week
-set table for dinner - every day
 
Weekend:
-laundry - sort, wash & dry - 1x week
-laundry - fold & put away - 1x week
-dust - 2x a month
-vacuum mudroom, hall and stairs - 1x a week
-vacuum family room - 1x a week
-vacuum upstairs - bedrooms, hallway - 2x month
-scrub toilets (powder room)
-clean bathroom sinks & counters (powder room & kid's) - 1x week