DNSN: Day 2

The good:

1-4) Kids got up, got themselves breakfast, lunches and out to the bus very early. Yeah!

5) It was garbage day -- M's normal contribution is to scoop the cat litter and take the can/s out. I didn't expect him to remember or to do it w/o a reminder. T asked me "since it's garbage day, should we throw out this old fish in the frig?" (this was not staged).  M overheard the exchange and right away got to the litter. He then said he was going to roll out the garbage. It was recycle day -- and usually I roll out one bin and M rolls out the other. M rolled out both on his own and then came to report back - "I'm growing up -- I did the garbage without being reminded, Dad". Yeah!

6) For the most part, dirty dishes are being moved from the table to the sink area. Yeah!

7) M had a friend come over after school. Per our agreement (his idea, not ours) he intends to complete written homework before anyone comes over. Well, he didn't get it done in time -- but -- he removed himself to his bedroom so that he could finish before he allowed himself to play. He had asked for my help and was clearly a bit frustrated with the noise level of his friend -- told his friend that if he wasn't quiet that he'd have to go home. M got a bit frustrated w/the work and was less focused -- but he did it and I did a fair job of not getting overly involved. Yeah!

8) The artful table cloth of kids papers continues -- but when I set my plate down on one of K's she said, "I will move that for you mom". She then put all the papers and misc toys and garbage on one of the chairs. Yeah -- a place to eat!

9) When asked what they wanted to do after dinner, both kids asked to read. M read for over 30 min -- he was at an exciting part in his book and didn't want to stop. Yeah!

10) Both kids went to bed right after we read to them. Yeah!


Wish it could have been better:
1) I noticed as soon as the kids left that the cats were completely out of food. This is M's contribution -- and since we have a self feeder that only gets filled up every 2 wks or so he generally doesn't notice until we remind him. Ugh. Hungry kitties is not something I will suffer all day. I got them a can of food with the intention of hiding the evidence before M got home. Once M came home we were both near the cat food and I couldn't help myself. I shook the feeder -- hoping that the lack of sound of food dropping or shifting would clue M in.  It didn't. I kicked the feeder to make some more noise. Repeatedly. (I know I'm waaaay crossing the line). That didn't work either. I let it go -- for a few minutes anyways. I then said I thought we might need to get rid of the cats. I know, I know. Not only can I not resist shutting my trap, but I add threats. M immediately responded -- he knew he missed something. I asked him what would help him remember -- same answer as always -- "I don't know." Hmmm....maybe not having your mother interfere and let the hungry cats remind you?

2) Dirty dishes stacking up. All common dishes and T and my dirty dishes are loaded as soon as we are done using them. The kids have a train of dishes on the counter near the sink. I announced to T that I was going to run the dishes and that he should make sure he got his plate in (yes, the announcement was not for T, but for the kids). They clued in enough to get their dessert dishes in, but the dirty dish train remains. I'm amazed how they don't notice that every dish is taken care of except for theirs.

Observations:
It seems I steel myself for the morning routine not to say anything -- and honestly, the kids are doing great at getting themselves up and out in plenty of time. I do notice that they are NOT turning on the tv and they are really watching the clock. This will definitely be an observation I share with them on Sunday. So morning seems to be ok -- and not a time when I need to / do a lot of reminding. Afternoon is another story. I plan to use some tape today, see if that helps some. I'm again noticing how much I really do -- picking up or taking care of little things that visually get in my way. T sad something really interesting to me yesterday, "You are assuming that all the clutter is a problem for them.  I don’t think it is.  It is only a problem for them when it affects their relationship with you.  Maybe it could be a problem for them when they go to look for something later, but “later” for kids does not really register, so I’d bet it will be quite some time before they clue in." Ahhh, yes, mommy director, you make it their problem at the cost of the relationship. It either needs to become their problem or I need to get much better at not having it bother me.

Still REALLY good to see the good far out numbers the could do better. And I can and do totally give credit to the kids, not me or T.